Our brains comprise three distinct structures, representing three evolutionary periods.1
The oldest, deepest, and smallest area is the reptilian brain.2 The reptilian brain controls the
heart, lungs, and other vital organs. It enables aggression, mating, and reaction to immediate
danger.
Mammals evolved the limbic system. This is the middle layer of our brains, surrounding the
reptilian brain. The physiological features unique to mammals are in the limbic brain, e.g., the
hypothalamus system for keeping us warm.
The limbic brain also produces emotions. Emotions facilitate relationships. Mammals, unlike
reptiles, care for their young. Mammals evolved brains hardwired for mother-child and other
relationships.
The cerebral cortex (or neocortex) is the newest, outermost area of our brains. The oldest mammals,
e.g., opossums, have only a thin layer of cerebral cortex. Rabbits have a little more, cats
a bit more. Monkeys have a substantial cerebral cortex. Humans–and only humans–have an
enormous cerebral cortex.3
The human reptilian brain and limbic system is similar is size and structure to other animals.
I.e., our ancestors evolved a huge cerebral cortex, while the older brain areas didn’t change.
The cerebral cortex learns new things. Animals with little or no cerebral cortex act only as their
genes program them to act. Animals with a cerebral cortex can find new foods, survive in new
environments, or change their mating tactics to improve reproductive success.
The human cerebral cortex goes beyond learning new foods and survival skills. Our brains can
think in abstractions. We communicate via symbols (e.g., language), consider the past and future,
and sacrifice our personal interests not only for our families (as other mammals do) but
also for ideas (e.g., honor and country).
Conflicts between brain areas lead to relationship difficulties. In a conflicted brain, the older
area wins. In contrast, an individual with an integrated brain–i.e., who uses his or her whole
brain–solves relationship problems.
3.1.1 Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny
A child’s development mimics its species’ evolution.
Infants live in their reptilian brains. They eat, breathe, crawl, sleep, etc.
Children live in their limbic brains. They feel emotions strongly. They use emotions to form
relationships.
Adolescents live in their cerebral cortexes. They strive to become unique individuals. They quest
to find abstract principles to live by.
Adult relationships invert childhood development. Men and women use cerebral cortex abstractions
(e.g., gender roles) to attract opposite sex partners. If a couple then feels limbic brain emotionally
connected "chemistry," they forma relationship. If the relationship goes well, sooner or
later they’re in bed, using their reptilian brains.
Love develops a child’s limbic brain.4 Unloved children fail to develop limbic brains capable
of emotional intimacy. Such an individual can relate on a reptilian level–e.g., food, warmth,
sex–or on a cerebral cortex level–e.g., excelling at accounting or the law–but have difficulty with
intimacy.
The oldest, deepest, and smallest area is the reptilian brain.2 The reptilian brain controls the
heart, lungs, and other vital organs. It enables aggression, mating, and reaction to immediate
danger.
Mammals evolved the limbic system. This is the middle layer of our brains, surrounding the
reptilian brain. The physiological features unique to mammals are in the limbic brain, e.g., the
hypothalamus system for keeping us warm.
The limbic brain also produces emotions. Emotions facilitate relationships. Mammals, unlike
reptiles, care for their young. Mammals evolved brains hardwired for mother-child and other
relationships.
The cerebral cortex (or neocortex) is the newest, outermost area of our brains. The oldest mammals,
e.g., opossums, have only a thin layer of cerebral cortex. Rabbits have a little more, cats
a bit more. Monkeys have a substantial cerebral cortex. Humans–and only humans–have an
enormous cerebral cortex.3
The human reptilian brain and limbic system is similar is size and structure to other animals.
I.e., our ancestors evolved a huge cerebral cortex, while the older brain areas didn’t change.
The cerebral cortex learns new things. Animals with little or no cerebral cortex act only as their
genes program them to act. Animals with a cerebral cortex can find new foods, survive in new
environments, or change their mating tactics to improve reproductive success.
The human cerebral cortex goes beyond learning new foods and survival skills. Our brains can
think in abstractions. We communicate via symbols (e.g., language), consider the past and future,
and sacrifice our personal interests not only for our families (as other mammals do) but
also for ideas (e.g., honor and country).
Conflicts between brain areas lead to relationship difficulties. In a conflicted brain, the older
area wins. In contrast, an individual with an integrated brain–i.e., who uses his or her whole
brain–solves relationship problems.
3.1.1 Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny
A child’s development mimics its species’ evolution.
Infants live in their reptilian brains. They eat, breathe, crawl, sleep, etc.
Children live in their limbic brains. They feel emotions strongly. They use emotions to form
relationships.
Adolescents live in their cerebral cortexes. They strive to become unique individuals. They quest
to find abstract principles to live by.
Adult relationships invert childhood development. Men and women use cerebral cortex abstractions
(e.g., gender roles) to attract opposite sex partners. If a couple then feels limbic brain emotionally
connected "chemistry," they forma relationship. If the relationship goes well, sooner or
later they’re in bed, using their reptilian brains.
Love develops a child’s limbic brain.4 Unloved children fail to develop limbic brains capable
of emotional intimacy. Such an individual can relate on a reptilian level–e.g., food, warmth,
sex–or on a cerebral cortex level–e.g., excelling at accounting or the law–but have difficulty with
intimacy.
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